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How to stop fighting in a relationship

Dr. Elizabeth MacGregor
Ed.D, LPC
drmacgregor@montvillecounseling.com

Theravive Counselor

GEORGE MACGREGOR
DCSW, MSW, LCSW, CAM-II
georgemacgregor@montvillecounseling.com

Most Insurances Accepted, including Medicare

Anger Management Counseling

The Wounded Person behind the Anger

angry couple shouting at each otherUncontrolled chronic anger damages your relationships, destroys your health, jeopardizes your career and robs your joy. The negative consequences of anger are felt in every part of your life. Anger problems are a symptom of fear and pain ― and lashing out at others in trying to heal your own wounds never works. Until the real source of the pain is discovered, the wound remains open. Therapy can get to the source of the suffering and help you close the wound so you can live a more peaceful life. Anger management is an important part of the recovery process.

Anger management issues hits a cord with many people because everyone gets angry. It’s an emotion that we’ve all felt in the heat of a moment where we lost our self-restraint. From angrily beeping our car horn at the person who just cut us off on the highway ― to full blown road rage ― it’s an emotion that’s been in the driver’s seat at some point in our life.

The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad, and sometimes even necessary. If anger is the motivation to set an injustice right by getting involved with a worthy cause, then it can be productive. If anger feels toxic and is keeping you stuck in its comfort zone, then it’s harmful.

Recognizing the Different Types and Degrees of Anger

Anger falls into 4 main classifications

  • Forceful anger is more destructive and hostile with the intent to harm or control people or situations.
  • Passive aggressive anger is indirect and more insidious. The angry person does not directly confront the target of their anger.
  • Rage is explosive anger, and at times can be violent.
  • Healthy anger is what we strive for and can move us forward in a positive way.

Anger can take on many forms ― some of them disguised ― as well a wide spectrum and degrees. Here are some fundamental criteria to help you determine if your anger is excessive and problematic in your life:

  • The intensity of your anger
  • How often you get angry
  • How long you remain angry
  • How quick you are to anger
  • How you express your anger
  • How comfortable you are with your anger

How to Control Anger

Stress is a huge spark for anger. The stressors of life can be overwhelming for some and using anger as a way of managing stress only increases the stress in their life ― imprisoning them in a vicious cycle of more stress and more anger.

When you learn how to control anger, you will start to make better decisions in your life. You can face every day without turning it into a battleground. And you will simply feel better. Anger can be an addiction, just like any other. Individual counseling with a caring therapist supports people who don’t know how to deal with anger ― by learning the skills necessary to kick the habit for good.

Counseling helps you to be in control of anger so that it doesn’t take you on a knee-jerk ride that you later regret.  Recognizing your anger triggers is an important part of recovery. Learning the thoughts, behaviors, people and situations that are the trip wires that set off angry episodes are important in getting control of your anger.

Even if you don’t a problem with anger, you may know or live with someone who does. When anger turns to violence in the form of spousal or child abuse, it becomes a behavior that needs the immediate help that a professional licensed counselor can give to those in the abusive situation.  Montville Counseling Center has counselors who are specially trained to handle these terrifying behaviors.

Be sure to get the help you need to conquer anger issues by learning life-changing anger management techniques ― combined with appropriate anger therapy from a skilled professional.

Montville Counseling Center is a court-approved provider of domestic violence counseling for victims and perpetrators of violence. If you or someone you know has been instructed by the courts to have qualifying domestic violence or anger management counseling, please contact us to schedule an appointment.

We also participate with Employee Assistance Program (EAP) for counseling for anger management. An EAP is a benefit offered by some employers to their employees and their family members to help resolve personal issues with professional and confidential counseling services. Check to see if you are covered by your employer with this benefit.